when your toddler calls you out

this morning, while rushing and trying to get the girls ready, mo decided that she didn't want to wear her hat. okay, no big deal. (i decided a long time ago to pick my battles when it comes to her wardrobe, even when freezing temperatures are involved.)

and, so, i absentmindedly just plop it on edie's head instead as i was far too busy scrambling (read: lazy) to go up the sixteen stairs for her own bunny hat. as we clamber into the car and i'm hurriedly buckling the girls into their car seats, i glance over at mo and notice that she's making a gallant effort to look the opposite way- away from me- out the window.


her lip is trembling.


oh, shit. this is not good.


"honey, what's wrong?"

she looks up at me with tears in the corner of her eyes and whispers, "you gave edie my fox hat?" ummm.... before i could even explain, the dam breaks and she bursts into tears. "mama, you should have asked me if it was okay! you give edie all of my stuff! my fox hat is special and belongs to me and why do you give edie all of my things without asking or saying please first?!?"



well, fuck.



my three year old just called me out.


and she couldn't be more right.



i should've asked her. she would've said yes. she always willingly shares with edie. but i just should've taken the extra five seconds and asked her. and not just about the damn hat but about all of the hand-me-downs and the toys and the countless things that edie uses that do, in fact, belong to mo- things that i've never once even considered may have meaning to her. i shouldn't have assumed anything.


i wish i could blame this on me being such a rookie to the workings of siblings. i'm not 100% competent in how siblings work seeing as how i grew up without anyone ever wanting- let alone, taking or being given- any of my stuff. but i can't blame it on that. this has far less to do with sibling politics and more to do with common consideration and respecting a persons' things- lessons i'm ironically trying to regularly shove down mo's throat.


it appears that while my three year old has, in fact, learned a thing or two about being considerate and asking for permission, i have work to do. kids tend to be selfish by nature and i don't expect otherwise. but simply giving edie all of her things without first asking mo if she can use them is not only rude but it sets a horrible example.


getting metaphorically slapped in the face by a tiny human with my personal hypocrisies and inadequacies isn't fun. it's actually fairly embarrassing. but i truly believe that there are no greater teachers than our children. it's largely why i love parenthood and why i believe that being a parent is just as beneficial as it is demanding and exhausting.

just another day in the life of my three year old schooling me in what it means to be a decent human.