"mama, i love you so much! i like you so much, too."

1.10.2016

on friday afternoon as we were sitting on the playroom floor buying time until joe got home to rescue me, out of nowhere, mo grabbed and cupped my face in her two tiny hands, pulled my face to her own and said very seriously, "mama, i love you so much. i like you so much, too."


and then, i died a little. because there is no better feeling than knowing your baby loves you. there is also nothing better than hearing them tell you as much. (your move, edie.)


i just pulled her into my lap, a place she can't be as often as she would like due to the almost constant occupancy of a baby. i wrapped my arms around her and hugged her dramatically. i kissed her cheeks all over and made a big show of my affection for her. i told her how much i love her and how much i like her, too. (because, you know, there is a difference. especially with a toddler. i love her always but there are days when i don't like her very much.) (hash tag real talk.)

she put her head on my shoulder and nuzzled her face in my neck. i told her how proud i am of her for handling the move to north carolina and this transition with such grace. i told her how proud i am of her for being such a loving big sister even when it's really hard and frustrating for her. i told her how proud i am of her for being brave meeting new friends and starting a new school. i also thanked her for being patient with me as i figure out this mama-of-two-in-a-new-city-with-a-new-routine thing.


and then i told her how proud and lucky i am that i get to be her mama forever and ever. and i can honestly say that i've ever meant any words i've ever spoken to her more than i meant that.


yes, mo is a lot of work. she has been since the day she was born and i don't see that changing anytime soon, if ever. she is a force to be reckoned with. she's incredibly opinionated. she wakes up and tells me immediately if she's going to have a "beautiful day" or a "bad day" and she wholeheartedly means it. she's temperamental, tender, and frequently overly dramatic. she vibrates with the aftershocks of others emotions. she requires routine and consistency to the point of monotony. she is not what i would describe as go-with-the-flow. she is fairly rigid in her ideals. she's cheeky and funny as hell and a bit unpredictable. she gets it. she is not, nor will she ever be, a wall flower or doormat. she says what she means and means what she says.


these traits aren't always the easiest to navigate as she grows into a little girl with even more opinions and emotions and ideas about how the world works . she is always listening and soaking up what i'm putting out. i have to watch my every word and move and when i forget this, it comes back to bite me in the ass.


but she is also my biggest teacher and the person i feel closest to. she's very much my mini-me in personality and i understand her like nobody else ever will because i've been her. i've felt misunderstood and frustrated with not being taken seriously. so when marlo speaks, i try my hardest to stop what i'm doing and listen and i always take her seriously. even silly things- things that don't make any sense to me whatsoever- are important things to me because they are important to her.




after mo told me that she loved me and liked me and i told her all the things, i grabbed edie to join the party. there is a hand and knee for each babe, i said. then i snapped these pictures of us three because i wanted to capture how incurably happy i am.

i've actually never been this happy. i've never felt more confident as a mother and as a woman. i've never felt so settled, so content, and so fulfilled with the direction my life is taking than i do right at this moment. i know who i am and what i want out of my life and for the life of my family. and if there is ever a moment worth capturing, it's the moment that you realize that these moments are THE moments, that these girls are IT. they are the reason why i try so hard to be, do, see, live, and teach good.

mo and edie, i love you both so much. i like you both so much, too.

4 comments:

Julie Garces said...

hahaha the very last picture is OH SO MO!

Serena Pauling said...

Love every single part of this post.

LaTonya Yvette said...

Love this!

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