the other day, after months, i finally wrote something here in this space of mine. and it felt good. really good, in fact. i'd forgotten how cathartic it is to write about things that are hard to explain verbally. for me, i tend to write my feelings better than i am able to say them. when i speak about pain, frustration, happiness, and fear, it most commonly comes out a convoluted mess with a lot of tears and very few points actually made.
but when i write? i'm able to process and keep up with my own thoughts and maybe even say something relevant. also, my balls are bigger when i write.
however, blogs are a slippery slope, aren't they? social media in general is a slippery slope. you can so very easily only put your best foot forward. it's far too easy to only show your highlight reel; a highly edited picture here and a twice-filtered picture there and suddenly people who think they know you can get a misguided take of your "reality".
they are led to believe that there aren't dishes overtaking your sink, that you've washed your hair within the last seven days, that the laundry isn't overflowing, and that your kid isn't throwing tantrums just like every other child has/is. the impression they get is a false one, a dangerous one, one that selfishly tricks people into believing that you, unlike them, enjoy motherhood every second of every day; that your marriage, unlike theirs, is perfect and without conflict; that you, unlike them, have it together all of the time.
and, for the record, it's all bullshit.
you know that don't you?
i guess my point is that i don't want to do that. i don't want to draw any more lines in the sand or create any more divides. i don't want this space to be filtered with only one side of my story. i want to give credit to the unique, individual experience we all go through while also acknowledging that we're all in this together. because aren't we? i really hope so.
i hope that when you are reading what i've written, you take away from it that there is very little separating us as mothers, women, and humans. i want you to laugh. i want you to say, "oh, she get's it." i want you to feel like you know me as a person and not through the selected images i can only wish were the full story. i don't want to sell you anything or any story. i want you to know that we all struggle, that we all experience the ebbs and flows of life, and that some days are harder or easier than others. it's life.
lastly, i want to say thank you for reading and thank you for those of you who continually inspire me to keep doing what i love doing so much. whether it is only my mom and dad reading or thousands (hey?! a girl can dream...), i feel most like myself when i'm writing.
so, thanks.
and here's to making the time for the things that make us tick.
xx,
christine
8 comments:
glad to see you back..although I am not yet a mother, I am one of those said humans and I thoroughly enjoy reading :)
Amen. Every once in awhile when I'm scrolling through FB or Instagram I get down seeing how perfect everyone's lives look. And then I have to remind myself that it's just a hazard of social media and I have to be aware of that. No one has the 'perfect' life & like you said, we all struggle, we all have ups and downs. I thoroughly enjoy anyone's social media where they choose to bare it all.....the good, the bad & the ugly. It's honest, it's real, it doesn't make you feel like a failing mother lol. So thank you for your honestly!
Glad you're back to writing!
love this
I check your blog every day, hoping to see a new post. You make me laugh and cry with your authentic words. Keep it up!!!
YAS! I love reading your blog, because you seem more real than so many others... in fact, yours is the only one I read! I do get down though, seeing how perfect everyones lives "seem" and how lucky all of the stay at home moms are. We, unfortunately, rely on 2 incomes. When I was on maternity leave I had such a hard time going back because I wanted to be like all the SAHM I follow on social media.
Thank you for this, and for being real. I still remember the one post you had where your daughter wouldn't eat her dinner. I thanked you for it, because I was able to relate and didn't feel like the only one with the struggle of a toddler!
Oh, you get it:-) Looking forward to more posts!
Welcome back; I've missed your particular brand of honesty, wit, & sarcasm. You rock lady!
I absolutely love your way of writing and I enjoy reading your blog! Don't stop! :-)
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