five things | two weeks in

5.14.2015

i have so much to write out. i want to remember so much and i fear- given the current mushy consistency of my brain- that i'll forget it all unless i document it here. but i have no time, so, here is the short and not so sweet version.
my girls.
1. well, for starters, edie is here. she weighed in at seven pounds and five ounces. she looked just like her sister upon initial inspection but is now veering away from total clone status. she's all kinds of sweet and squishy and fattening up like a champ. and dare i tell you that she's a great sleeper. (i can hear the collective fuck you's from moms everywhere.)

2. nothing. fits. so i just bought a pair of overalls and feel like i can now claim official sell-out status as a brooklyn mom. overalls? check. striped tee? check. wear baby in a sling? birkenstocks? check. check. obscenely expensive stroller? check. (p.s. i'm starting to hate myself.) bangs? coming soon.

3. can i have thirty minutes where no one is touching me? i love my babies but oh my god i love even more not being touched. some things will never change, i suppose.

4. things that are at the top of my list right now? that blissful hour and a half a day when all three of the fadel ladies are sleeping. friends who not only feed you and your family after you've had a baby but also take your toddler off of your hands for a few hours, bathe them, and then bring them home five minutes before bedtime. a little sister who tolerates her sister with more patience than i do. sunglasses because the dark circles are so real. leggings. dry shampoo. all the lattes. my boobs because they are doing work, y'all. edie's cheeks. the sound of pride in marlo's voice as she tells every stranger she comes across about her baby sister.

5. i'm working on writing down my birth experience- because, oh man, what an unbelievable experience that was- but i need more than one hand to type it all out with and an hour or two to sob as i write it. at the moment i have neither so stay tuned for that... i will go ahead and say that my body finally cooperated with me and the experience as a whole healed so many open wounds from marlo's birth. it was an unmedicated birth though i didn't have a natural birth to be a hero. all mothers are heroes. i did it to prove to myself that my body was still mine and in my control. and you know something? as a result of trusting my body and its' capability, i've never, ever been more proud of my body. women are fucking miracles.

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