earn mom card? check.

so we missed our flight. and not by ten minutes or anything remotely justifiable. i just flat out missed it- i thought it was tuesday morning at ten am, not monday at ten am. long story short, we had to pay an astronomical amount to get a one-way ticket home. joe was none too pleased with me. very big oops.

this is the part where karma kicks my ass for being aloof.

first, our flight was delayed for hours. HOURS! when we are finally allowed to get on the plane, marlo was overtired and hated everyone and everything. as a result, she decided to tell the entire plane of already annoyed travelers and exhausted flight attendants exactly where they can all go and i'm sure that after the what-felt-like-47-hours flight, they'd all much rather be there instead of locked in a plane with her.

for the record, marlo has always been a champion traveler. she typically sleeps the entire flight and when she isn't sleeping, she's far too busy flirting with other travelers and trying to touch the hair of the person seated in front of us to even remotely care about her ears hurting. she has her priorities. well, this flight, she said, "fuck that noise, ma. i'm about to show you who runs this show."

and that she did.

she screamed the entire flight. and not the whimper kind of cry that she does when she's tired. no. i'd never be that lucky. this type of shrill screaming and ear piercing cry was that of a terrible-twoer, not my sweet baby girl who always wakes up and usually goes to bed with a smile on her face. this spontaneous combustion was complete with thrashing, kicking, and gagging from crying so hard. nothing i did would help. i bounced her, rubbed her back, tried to sing her favorite lullabies, offered her a bottle, food. nothing. nothing! worked. and food always works. she's mine, after all.

so what did i do? i just cried with her. tears flowed. i felt truly defeated. i've never felt like that. i've always been able to comfort her. but not then. some of my tears were also probably due to all of the death stares i was receiving from other passengers. they truly hated me and thought marlo was the devil or some hybrid breed of baby and feral cat. if someone would've attacked the plane and demanded they give someone up, they gladly would've sacrificed me and marlo. one gentleman (and i use that term lightly) even made a rather rude comment to me about my child and parenting skills. if i wasn't so concerned with setting a good example for my daughter, i would've bitch-slapped him. because, obviously, i enjoyed that plane ride? of course i enjoyed trying to comfort my inconsolable daughter who is shaking and kicking me in the face all while just trying to lay on the floor of the plane. he was the rudest of rude dicks. karma will get him one day, too.

so. if the last ten and a half months haven't earned me my mom card, that plane ride from hell most certainly did.