let me preface this post by saying that i love men. i by no means am a man hater. they definitely serve a multitude of purposes. hell, i even married one and let him knock me up. but that doesn't mean that they don't confuse the hell out of me. they perplex me a great deal. so for recreational purposes, i'd like to make a few observations. indulge me, if you will... oh, and i'd like to state that these observations are about no one man in particular, rather a lot of them.

1. why do men complain when we (women) don't shave our legs- or other things, for that matter- yet their legs- and other things, for that matter- look like a hybrid step-child of chewbacca and cousin it?

2. why do men think that the gym is a great time to try to hit on me? let me tell you why it isn't: one, i smell like the red wine and cheese that i had for dinner the night before. two, i have head phones on and am nose deep in my kindle reading some mommy porn which does NOT include you so stop interrupting me. three, you are sweaty and gross. four, just no. it would never happen in any world. so just don't.

3. do you think that baby talk thing that you do is cute? it isn't. even when you're talking to my ten month old. it's creepy.

4. what do you think would happen if mark wahlberg, josh duhamel, and ryan gosling had a baby? do you think that would be legal? could the world even handle it? god knows that  i couldn't.

5. is there anything hotter than a guy with a great sense of humor? no, there isn't. is there anyone less sexy than jim carrey? no, there isn't. touche.



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