five things | this is pregnancy

1. i walked into the market this morning for pastured eggs and haricot vert for a mediterranean lentil salad i planned to make for our lunch today. i left with pitted black and green olives, salt and vinegar potato chips, a green juice, and a chocolate-hazelnut macaron sandwich. this is pregnancy.

2. yesterday, mo and i trekked it into the city to see our best buds for a play date and a lunch of homemade pizza (thanks, karp!). it's a fairly easy commute with only one train and eighteen or so blocks standing in between us and them. and, yet, after making that "fairly easy" commute to and from, my body now feels like it's going to fall apart into pieces and then thank me later. specifically, i feel like my pelvis (aka my vagina) is going to fall off of my body. my midwife assures me that his is normal. this is pregnancy. 

3. there are days when joe comes home only to find me crying hysterically in a corner over how much of a terror toddlers are... how i can't imagine bringing another baby into this chaos... asking him repeatedly "how will i survive?!? stop laughing at me, joe. how will i survive??!!" and i'm not being metaphorical. in that moment, i'm asking a literal question because i'm convinced that parenthood is going to force me to ram my face straight into a brick wall for fun. the very next day, joe comes home to me crying just as hysterically because of how wonderful marlo is and how i want to have fifteen more babies because she's so wonderful and how i am so sad that one day she won't be a toddler and ohmygodihopeedieisjustlikeher. if by chance you find yourself lacking or in need, i've got all the hormones. this is pregnancy.

4. it's twenty-two degrees outside and i'm sweating. this is pregnancy.

5. i booked tickets for marlo and me to fly to south florida to visit our friends, emily and lily, in february as a little last hoorah girl's trip before edie arrives.  we are both in desperate need of natural vitamin d and a lack of four walls so there really was nothing that was going to stop us. and instead of obsessing of all of the fun we're going to have, all i can think about is that for the first time quite possibly ever, i'm not doing a single crunch or logging one extra minute at the gym because i have to be in a bathing suit.  i will be rocking a bikini at eight months pregnant and i will be letting it all hang out because there is no shame in my pregnant game. this is pregnancy.