round two | half-way

edie cooper, twenty weeks

this babe and i are half-way (give or take depending on her partialness to being prompt and courteous) to meeting each other on the outside.

this pregnancy, all the while magical and blah, blah, blah, has been vastly different from my pregnancy with modine, in ways that are hard for me to articulate.


beyond our circumstances being different and our everyday life the exact opposite of what it was when i was growing mo, i am so incredibly different. how could i not be? marlo, the game changer, turned my world upside down in the most beautifully chaotic way.


while pregnant with her, i didn't have a toddler running around, crashing into things, distracting me from worshiping my body's ability to grow life, from honoring it as some holy vessel. while she was grown on kale, quinoa, and whatever organic, grass-fed, pastured, locally-raised beast i believed would make for the healthiest baby, edie craves a lot of frozen mango chunks, white cheddar pirate's booty, and full-fat lattes. there have been more days than i can count when i forget to take my prenatal vitamin. i've had a few more glasses of wine this round.

and more sushi.

and more chocolate croissants.

and stinky french cheese.

and more cured meat.


things are different, more laid-back. i'm more trusting of my body and a hell of a lot less critical of it, too.


it's easier in some aspects and harder in others.


but the one thing that remains the same is that nothing- and i do mean NOTHING- will ever top being given the privilege to grow life inside of me.


this second opportunity to really witness what my body is capable of is yet another reminder of what life is really all about. it's about these two little girls that joe and i made and the process of parenthood, which, by way of technical definition, is to somehow manage that they don't grow up to be giant assholes.


it's about the love that we share as a couple, the same love which we've fought hard for for over eight years and continue to try our best to make better every single day, the love that will set the precedent for how our girls expect to be loved and treated and will, in turn, love and treat other people.


these nine (or ten) months aren't just about growing a baby. they have become so much more than that and i'm so thankful that i get to do this again.