dear marlo

all photos c/o chelsea mcnamara for cricket's circle

one day, my little dynamo, you will read all of these letters. therefore, i don't want to be too critical or harsh- even if i'm only harshly critiquing myself. i don't want to ever give you the impression that i look back on this time of our lives as anything other than a treasure because a treasure is exactly what it is to me.

but i also don't want to sugarcoat our life. even at only two-years-old, i know without a doubt that you aren't the kind of person who will appreciate me laying it on thick when anything more than the plain and simple truth simply isn't necessary.


mom, i imagine you saying, hush and get to the damn point, already.


i've also never believed in sheltering you from real life. i don't agree with keeping children from experiencing the woes of real life because i believe that it makes for an emotionally weak kid. also, it's an impossible feat. you can't protect your kids from the real world because life will happen, like it or not, and life can be rough.


modine, i want you to be able to handle it. i want you to give life the fucking finger when it tries to keep you down. and it will try. it will try very, very hard to do just that. at times it will even succeed. it will knock you on your ass before you even knew what hit you and you need to know that being down is absolutely okay. feeling down is a part of life just as much as happiness is a part of it.


as difficult as it is, i make a big effort to let you figure a lot out on your own. you've had to fall off of the sofa a few times in order to be convinced that you should stop jumping on it. you've had to have some bigger kids push you down to learn that we don't push or, at least, we shouldn't. but life makes much more sense to you when you learn things the hard way instead of taking my word for it. i imagine you'll be this way for a very long time and i hope this is the case. you may learn things the hard way but you learn them more quickly this way, too.


your curiosity, tenacity, and precociousness are at an all-time high. and, while they may be qualities that have the ability to get under my skin like nothing else ever could, i know that they will serve you incredibly well in life. i know that you are already the person you will be in twenty years. you will change and grow with age, sure. but the bones are there and they stand strong.


you will not be led, you will lead. you will not be convinced, you will decide all on your own. you will not be quieted or shushed, you will question often. you won't see walls or obstacles, you'll see learning experiences and stepping stones.


you will rattle cages and push boundaries, most likely my own. you will love life and love people and you will love them hard. you will feel things fiercely and with abandon.


you will be unapologetically you.


and that's the only person i care about you being.





i love you, marlo mclean, 

to the moon but so, so very much further. 

hugs and one million kisses,

mama