when i signed on for the sling diaries, i had no idea what i was embarking on. truth be told, i thought that it was just going to be a simple act of taking photos once a month while wearing my kid in beautiful slings. and it was that. i have some really cherished photos to always look back on and to show to marlo one day.
but it was also so, so very much more.
through the journey of my sling diary, i was given the opportunity to really consciously and intentionally analyze how i want to parent, to give description to those ideas as they were brewing in my head and heart, and to share them with an army of supportive mothers, fathers, and families who all believe in the same thing: being good humans in order to raise the next generation of good humans. if people should unite on anything, shouldn't it be the belief that we should all be good and contribute to creating good and putting that good into the world?
as individuals, we are so fundamentally different by no other fault than primal physiology and biology. but isn't parenting one of the most primal and basic products of nature? socially, however, we stand firm and pride ourselves on those differences. we often find solace in those labels distinguishing us as one thing or another: baby wearer, stroller mom, attached parent, breastfeeder, tiger mom, etc.
we find comfort in being able to draw distinction from those not like us.
we are this, they are that.
the experience over the last six months allowed me to stop all of that and, to instead, learn from what may feel foreign or unfamiliar to me, to draw inspiration from other good humans who i would've under any other circumstances not been privy to meet, and to focus on what actually works for my family instead of the latest new york times bestseller.
baby wearing worked for us and it continues to work for us. when people see me wearing marlo on my hip, they ignorantly assume that i'm carrying a dependent three and a half year old. but, in fact, she is only nearing two and she still vehemently needs me, her mother. she's a giant, sure, clocking in at thirty-seven pounds. she is heavy, yes. but baby wearing is anything but a physical burden. in fact, it brings us a closeness which my fiercely independent girl- who self-weaned cold turkey at eleven months- rarely exhibits a need for.
i wear my girl close in two layers of black linen. i hold her. i comfort her. i love her. i teach her. i encourage her. i listen to her. i hear her. i do my best to be my best for her. i have also learned that not every day will be our best and those days hold just as much value as the days that come more easily, without tears from either one of us. i cut myself slack. i forgive myself. i take care of myself so that i am able to take the best care of her.
thank you sakura bloom for giving me this little capsule of time to always reflect on when i need it most. this experience will serve as a reminder of what i believe when the days are long and my vision is blurred. thank you for aiding me in the discovery of who i really am as a mother: one who is doing the best that she can for herself and for the littlest love of her life.
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