five things | my personal golden rules


treat others how you'd like to be treated. you've heard that one, right? what about if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all? both are very, very true. but it can be difficult to live by them when people are such giant assholes so very often. to ease the pain of living by the parents of all golden rules and after twenty-seven years of teen angst, ignorant adolescence, dating, marriage, motherhood, friendships, and life under my belt, here are the other rules i've come to live by:

1. perfection does not exist so don't waste precious time striving for it. there is no such thing as the perfect relationship, being the perfect mother, the perfect wife, or the perfect person. truth be told, even if a universal perfection did somehow exist, it's not something i'm interested in achieving. my life is very imperfect but i'm really in love with how it stands. anything more than imperfection seems quite boring to me. and to be frank, i'm not sure what perfection would look like to me even if it were attainable.

2. don't compare yourself to others. also, don't compare yourself to the idea you have in your head of how things should be or look. when you compare your life to what you think it should be or to some level of perfection that doesn't exist (please, refer back to rule number one), you're only doing a disservice to yourself. you will also miss out on seeing your life for the beautiful one that it is.

3. if you're going to be anything, be authentic. if you're going to be anyone, be yourself. here's the truth: in the modern age of social media, when people are obsessively and constantly consumed with how many strangers 'like' the life that they have painstakingly selected to share, people become less and less authentic by the minute. people- particularly women and mothers- care so much about how they're perceived and seek the approval of others. why? who gives a shit? be yourself. who has the time to live such a staged show on top of living the reality?

4. you are who you hang with. file this one under: your mother was right. when you're a kid and still figuring out who you are, you tend to take on the traits of those around you and try them on for size until you stumble upon the size that fits best. that size is what feels most comfortable and is what usually becomes your uniform. (i could keep going with this metaphor but i won't.) as you ripen with age (wait, am i cervix or an avocado?) and are far more comfortable with who you are as you are, it becomes more about the association of whom you're choosing to spend your time with. this association is in direct correlation with your personal and professional reputation. so, choose wisely.

5. leave everything- and everyone- a little better than you found it. if this isn't your goal in life, well, you're probably a tremendous asshole. if this isn't your goal, then you should probably re-evaluate your life.

"open minded people embrace being wrong, are free of
illusions, don't mind what people think of them,
and question everything, even themselves."
(source unknown)


Unknown said...

Love those rules, so true and great reminders!
I always love reading your posts.

Jasna said...

Your rule number one is also my rule right now...Recently I read somewhere a great quote about it: "Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good." Years ago I would probably dismiss this quote, but now, in my thirties and being a mom, I think it makes a lot of sense...

All the best***


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