this week is so crazy for me. after moving and unpacking and then immediately traveling to and from the west coast... well, this mama is spent and yet, i still have so much to do.
so, i asked this hot mama, julie from stroller naps, to write a little something for y'all. enjoy and i'll see you tomorrow for lots of solerno & sparkling behind the scenes action!
a couple of rules and a rule of thumb...
don't plan ahead but have a plan…
you pack the diapers, wipes, a juice, toy, lunch, snack. you plan a day at the park. car ride there, you'll get out and walk, find a nice spot, stage a few photos with the family for the family, eat lunch, pack up, drive home, arrive home right in time for nap. there's traffic on the way there, you're late. parts of the park are closed off for an event, you find an okay spot but the grass is wet from last night's rain. babe is grumpy, photo fail. the lunch spills out of the containers. you say screw it and drive home for nap time, babe falls asleep in the car.
in the first year of rio's life, i planned so many outings. i had big plans for each weekend. and every. single. weekend. my plans never worked out. ever. partially because we live in nyc and nothing goes smoothly. like, ever. i would get so annoyed and irritated. but, i always turned the day around by making it work somehow. it wasn't easy but i made a great time happen regardless. it wasn't until about a year into the game of cat and mouse that i learned to plan a day, yes, but to always have a back up plan. and then another back up plan. and sometimes the very best back-up-back-up plan is a bottle of water, sunscreen, a delicious kid appeasing snack, and some chalk. and sometimes the back up plan is going to take you to the parking lot of a school to let your cub walk around on his or her own exploring parking cones and locked and chained school doors for an hour. and of course, if you want to sweeten the deal for yourself - hit up the corner bodega and brown bag a corona on that hot summer day of exploring.
whisper until you need to yell …
this is a rule i learned as a managing director at work and i carry it home as a parenting guideline. it's basically a different way of saying, "choose your battles." when your child makes mistakes, has accidents, or is simply up to no good - gage it. on a scale of 1 to 10, does it deserve a simple correction or does it deserve a come-to-jesus meeting? if you 911 it all the time, the message is lost. if you create the sense to your child that anytime a mistake is made, you are going to fly off the handle, you will have a timid and self-doubting child. they will be scared to take chances. if there's a situation and your child has made a BAD decision and moves to do it again, well, then get at them! yell if you need to. and, "yell," folks, is not literal. i mean you need to take charge, amp it up, and let them know you mean business. aka SCARE THEM A LITTLE. you're mom and dad, you are entitled to scare the poop out them sometimes, you know.
don't be a dick…
don't take things away from your child just for the sake of taking it away. let them dig in the spoon drawer, let them hold your hair dryer, let them unravel a few rolls of toilet paper. just because these things are GD annoying- and they are, i know- just let them have some fun. and after letting them have some fun, don't ruin it by saying, "you shouldn't have done that," or "this was the last time." let them enjoy the mischief. they only get away with it for a few short years of their life; they aren't going to understand, no matter how you explain it, why unrolling TP is a bad thing. it's freaking amazing fun. in fact, i did it a couple times during adulthood. sorry, mom and dad, but when your 35 year old brother calls and asks you to prank your dad on his birthday and TP the front yard you do it. (and then you clean it up for him too. see how we grow up here?)
defend yourself…
as a parent, you are going to do things that are judge-able (pretty sure i just made that word up, copyright!) hell, you are even going to judge yourself. but defend yourself to others and tell them WHY you did something, even if it's ridiculous. DON'T make excuses and shy away from it. if you give your child a sucker to stop a hell-raising tantrum at target and someone questions it, it's okay to say, "i am giving my kid a sucker so that you and the other 650 people in target don't have to listen to him scream bloody murder. i am also doing it because if i continue to let him cry, he will barf all over himself." you don't have to say, "i usually never give her suckers... i don't know what's wrong with her. this never happens. i am desperate. i would normally never do this." yes, you are desperate and it's okay to be desperate. we all are at some point. we are all desperate for the child whisperer to teach us the magic tantrum tactic that gets them to stop crying and purr like a kitty. it ain't happening. so sucker away mamas, sucker away.
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