five things that aren't a good idea


1. unlimited sushi and sake bombs sound like a great idea. trust me when i say that they are not. my entire sunday was the evidence of such a bad call.

2. you know those parents who verbally dictate every single thing that they do with their children? or they speak of themselves and their children in the third person? this morning, i sat at the y and listened to a mom go through every single step of getting a water bottle out of the vending machine and wanted to crawl out of my skin. "mommy is going to get a water for chandler because mommy forgot chandler's sippy cup at home. now, first, mommy is going to put her dollar and quarter into the machine. it's telling mommy to make my selection. okay. now, mommy is going to press b-6 for water. now, the vending machine is going to lower chandler's water down to the opening. okay! mommy got chandler a water! here's your water, chandler." oh. my. god. christine thinks that being that parent is the worst idea ever. don't be that parent. ever.

3. going to ikea with two tired toddlers. ikea is the place where panic attacks are born and hangry tantrums are the du jor. on the flip-side, if i ever need a boost in my parenting morale, ikea is the place to go. my child is an absolute angel compared to some of the little holy terrors running around that place.

4. trying to sell a king bed frame and mattress on craigslist in nyc. first, it's new york city. nobody has room for a king-sized anything, and if they do, they surely aren't looking to buy it on craigslist. secondly, people are terrified of bed bugs here so the last thing they want to buy used is a mattress. any idea what the hell i'm supposed to do with a king sized mattress, custom headboard, and frame? anyone want to buy it? i'm selling it for hella cheap!

5. trying to pack up an apartment with a toddler who won't nap. marlo's idea of helping is to take everything out of the box that i just took the time to wrap and put in. she also particularly enjoys climbing into the box and breaking it open. it should be noted that i have until next wednesday to be fully packed for our move. mother. fuck.


belle said...

Moving is so crazy stressful but you can do it! I'm still flirting with the idea of a king size bed..


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