i used to get so frustrated when marlo would have a day like she had yesterday. so clingy. and fussy, all around unhappy. it used to annoy me. like ruin-my-day-kind-of-annoying. (and, no. i don't feel bad for that statement. my kid can get on my nerves. in fact, she's perfected the fine art of how to get under my skin.)
but yesterday, after almost two weeks of not being able to be as active with my babe as i would like, after two weeks of someone else putting her to sleep at night, someone else playing with her at the playground, and even someone else soothing her when she's upset or hurt, i was a little clingy and fussy, too. i wasn't frustrated. i wasn't annoyed. i missed my baby like my baby missed me.
so, after an epic failure of an attempt at an afternoon nap, i threw in the towel and, instead, piled both of us on our bigger-than-necessary-bed. for two entire blissful hours, we cuddled, played 'where's marlo?' with the sheets, and caught up on two weeks worth of surgery-prevented-love.
sure, i was beyond exhausted and so sore from holding her all day. but it was damn well worth it. that little stubborn love of ours is something so special. she knows how to push all of my buttons simultaneously but will turn around and offer me the juiciest, sweetest of kisses. and BOOM. i remember why this whole motherhood thing is so sweet. i remember why it's so difficult and why i'm constantly trying to be better at it.
it's because i love this little person more than i've ever loved anyone and i'm more invested in her well-being that i've ever been in anyone, even myself.
so, every once in a while, a day like yesterday is absolutely necessary for both of us.
in fact, i'm really looking forward to the next one.