6 Months



She's six months old.

Just thinking that out loud gives me mixed emotions: a feeling of accomplishment for keeping something alive for that long and sadness at seeing a little bit of the baby disappear every day. It's happening so fast and it's a cruel and bittersweet thing to witness.

M is becoming this little person, one who shakes her head no on cue, as if she knows what we're talking about. She's the little person who will hold my face and lean in and give me the biggest and wettest best kiss I've ever had. She's the one who smiles back at me when I smile at her.  She grunts and growls at me when she's tired, making her displeasure known that she isn't in her crib, in her own space. She already has a mind of her own and I've fallen in love with the person that she is becoming.

As another month is scratched off the calendar, I'm reminded of my pregnancy and how much I learned while patiently awaiting her arrival. I think about her birth and how far I've come as her mother. I silently give myself a pat on the back for- the most part, anyway- striving to be the mother that is patient and loving and not anxious. I look forward to the months ahead where she will not only have opinions of her own, but she'll be able to express them freely.

Yesterday was the presidential election and I have made a point to not comment on politics this time around because I try not to engage other people's crazy. I don't want to engage my crazy either for that matter. However, I sit around and see parents pushing their own political beliefs on their children, even dressing them in t-shirts emblazoned with their candidate, which- don't get me wrong- is pretty damn cute. But I don't want to do that or be that type of parent.

I can only hope that as Marlo's mother and, hopefully one day, her friend, I will help her cultivate her own beliefs and way of doing things. Even if her stance differs from mine I hope that I can actively remind myself that as a parent, it isn't my job to convince her that I'm right, it's my job to teach her to stand behind what she believes in, albeit respectfully. I know I'll struggle with this. I imagine the teenage years will give me a run for my money if she's anything like me. But I will try. Very hard. I owe her that.

Six months down and so many more to go. You're it, sweet girl, everything and more. You opened my heart and I'm so thankful.



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