marlo being marlo

11.19.2014

you recently learned how to unlock my phone and flip the camera so that you can take pictures of yourself. you take approximately three hundred or so a day. it's annoying to have to erase so many photos every day but it also buys me five minutes when i'm trying to use the bathroom or eat a scrap of food or simply breathe so i pick my battles. you win this one.

even though i was finally able to convince you that the milk will only come in when the baby comes, you remain suspicious. almost every day you take your little index finger and push- not so gently- on each boob, just to make sure that the milk hasn't decided to come in unexpectedly. you are diligent about reminding me that you, too, want some milk when it does decide to come in. i've left this request alone in high hopes that your streak of innate tenacity won't make you want it even more simply because i've told you no. you've apparently forgotten that you stopped nursing nineteen months ago and that you don't even like milk of any variety. you've determined that mine is special, i guess? 

about a month ago, you heard your dad yell "fuck" very loudly while he was watching a unc carolina game. since then, you occasionally walk around the apartment yelling "BUCK, mama. BUCK." you have no idea what you're saying (i can only hope) but i still find it hysterical and have to put forth a great deal of effort to not laugh my ass off. luckily, you've yet to yell such tasteful choice of words in public but i'm counting on that happening very soon.


your dad recently went out of town for the weekend and i wanted to send him a little goodnight video of you singing twinkle, twinkle. while you were in the bath and singing away like you always do, i figured it'd be a good time to capture it on video since you weren't paying me any attention. about four seconds in and with the timing of a seasoned and skilled comedienne, you stopped singing, looked dead at the camera, and let out the most giant fart ever. you dad really loved the video.

you label everything as either "so silly," "so cwazy," or "ummm, no." there are no other options.

let me tell you something of fact, mo: hearing you say "baby e-dee is in derrrr, mama" has to be the cutest damn thing that has ever come out of your mouth. much cuter than... say.... "buck, mama buck!"

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