real life | thoughts on suppositories and asshole pediatricians


a disclaimer: i'm aware that no one cares about my child's bowel movements to the degree that i do. so, if you aren't a parent, you won't understand why i find it okay to talk about poop so openly. if poop makes you uncomfortable, you should stop reading. but if you're brave enough or simply want to wallow along in my self-pity and read a small snippet in the tales of toddler constipation, by all means... just don't say that i didn't adequately warn you.  
i took this picture at the zoo yesterday. it was one of the few happier moments i've been able to capture out of the shit hole that has been the last almost-three-weeks.

if i were to post a picture of our current reality, you wouldn't see this version of marlo.

instead, you'd see pictures of me force-feeding my daughter mirolax, prune juice, coconut oil, and probiotics. you'd see a picture of joe trying to hold marlo down while i try to shove a useless suppository up my daughters' ass and, afterwards, us (marlo and me) inconsolably sobbing out of trauma-slash-pain and trauma-slash-frustration-slash-helplessness, respectively.

because constipation is no joke.

constipation is borderline torture to all parties involved. seeing your kid in pain day after day and not be able to do anything about it is the worst feeling in the world. you can't kiss intestines and bowels and make them better. i mean, and even if you could, i doubt that anybody would want to. scraped knees? yes. a toddler's butt hole? no.

and then, today, to be on the phone with the pediatrician for the third time in as many days and listen to her tell you that you "need to step it up and just be the mommy" and "just give her the enema already even though it's hard" is... well... it's really fucking insensitive and cruel.

i kid you not. she, a pediatrician and a mother, actually said that to me as i was on the phone with her, begging for advice, begging for some sort of help, all while sobbing embarrassingly due to the helplessness i'm experiencing because my toddler is screaming and writhing in pain and i am incapable of fixing it, of making her better.

be the mommy, you say? i can't believe i'd never thought of that. surely that's not why i'm calling you, concerned about the lack of poop coming out of my toddler. thank you kindly for your support and for the advice that isn't working WHICH IS WHY I'M CALLING YOU YET AGAIN. fuckyouverymuch.

add find a new pediatrician to my very long list of things to-do right after i get my kid back on a normal shitting schedule.

also, do you know how hard it is to give your toddler a suppository? marlo doesn't even let me trim her toenails without an epic fight. and, yes, i do mean fight. she gets positively violent when i'm anywhere near those piggies. it's only natural that she give me absolute total hell when i'm near her bottom. not that i blame her. i'd throw a few punches too if anyone tried to stick something up there unwanted and by surprise.

you know? 

you know.

so. all of this just to say that this has been my life for the past eighteen days.

i really just want my girl to poop.


AgnieszkaH said...

Hi, I just found your blog through whattoexpect. Wow...This sounds so horrible... Made me teary eyed... I hope your little girl will be better soon! Thanks for the great read on "The Photos That Mom Bloggers Never Post"! Hang in there!

Kerry said...

if you're going to switch pediatricians, maybe try:

i love my pediatrician and the general philosophy behind the practice is really great.

good luck to you and poor marlo!


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