mother's day + emergency appendectomies


on saturday, we ventured out to attend ivan's dirty thirty celebration at a cute little beer garden in williamsburg. other than the absolute downpour we found ourselves in, the day was pretty perfect. i found myself saying that there was probably no better way to start a mother's day weekend.

skip to sunday. mother's day, 2014.

i woke up with what i thought was terrible gas. not the farting kind, but the extremely painful-i'd-give-anything-to-be-able-to-fart-kind-of-gas. between the one beer that i drank and the cabbage in the four tacos i ate, i assumed that i brought it on myself and laid back down to suffer in silence. after about six hours spent curled in the fetal position, unable to eat or drink or even move, i realized that my gluttony may not be the culprit. soon, the chills and cold sweats began. then the attempts to not faint started. soon after, the stabbing pains that took my breath away started and only intensified. at this point i was in tears from the level of pain i was experiencing and i could barely stand up.

i took a cab to the nearest ER and after an initial assessment, i was quickly given morphine and a few bags of fluid. after a few more hours, the doctor came over to examine me and as he pressed on the lower right quadrant of my stomach, i screamed and almost hit him in the face. he ordered a CAT scan and more morphine. quickly thereafter, i was diagnosed with a ruptured appendix.

apparently, this hospital doesn't have an in-house surgical unit on sundays and i was told that i needed to go to another hospital. okay, i said.

"so, do i need to call a cab?"

do i need to call a cab? that was my response.

the doctor laughed under his breath.

"no, i think i can handle it, mrs. fadel. and, just so you know, you will be going via emergency ambulance."

"what? like, the van with the sirens? why?" i think the morphine was beginning to kick in.

"mrs. fadel. you have an infected and ruptured appendix. you need emergency surgery."

"oh. so this is serious?"

"yes, mrs. fadel. this is serious. now, please go lay back down in your bed while i finish up your transfer papers."

i will spare you the remaining details but it included a lot of tears, a lot of feeling sorry for myself, and then more tears because i was alone in the emergency room about to go under anesthesia without seeing joe or marlo beforehand. (we were unable to get a sitter at 11pm and someone had to be home with marlo. that someone was joe. luckily a very kind doctor who felt sorry for me stayed by my side through the surgery even though her shift had already ended and called joe at 2am to let him know how everything went. she even came back in the next morning to check on me even though she wasn't my doctor. bless.)

the surgery went fine and, thanks to anesthesia, i had some really incredible sleep. i woke up puffy, swollen, and twice my size (picture nicki minaj with bigger thigh and butt implants). luckily, after some convincing pleading with my surgeon, they sent me home yesterday afternoon. marlo accidentally punched me in the stomach this morning, which, wasn't fun. but, what are you gonna do?

not exactly the way i pictured spending mother's day but all's well that ends well, i guess. i will say that after having two organs removed in an eight month span, i will have to think long and hard about giving out a spare kidney if anyone is in the market. but, on the bright side, i did get to bring home another really sexy hospital gown to add to my collection. joe is totally into them. i'm kidding. but they're good for a laugh if you're fighting.

now, i'm off to take some pain meds and lay my puffer fish resembling ass down and watch a mark wahlberg movie. i hope that everyone had a lovely mother's day.


Anonymous said...

Talk about an eventful mother's day! I'm glad you can through the other side okay, appendixes can be nasty buggers. Hope your recovery is smooth and uneventful.


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