1 is 2 many

5.03.2014

the white house released this PSA in an effort to bring attention to sexual assault as a part of their 1 is 2 MANY campaign.

finally. 

finally, we are discussing the unbelievable and heartbreaking statistics surrounding sexual assault and addressing it not as a gender-specific issue.


finally, we are admitting to ourselves that it shouldn't just be the woman's responsibility to say no, but also a man's responsibility to accept no as an answer.


finally, we are establishing a precedent within our culture that will breed change by dismantling the stigma that permeates sexual assault and rape victims.


finally, we are treating victims as just that: victims.


finally. finally.


because the woman who is assaulted is someone's daughter, sister, wife, girlfriend, friend, and mother. as the mother to a daughter, knowing that there is even a remote possibility that marlo could ever be the one in five young women sexually assaulted while in college or the one in nine teen girls who will be forced to have sex is unfathomable. to think that no matter how many times she may ever say no, she could still be that one girl because someone didn't care that no means fuck no, don't you dare.


because, finally, here is my truth: i have been that woman.


i am the one that is one too many.



no, i didn't say no. but i also didn't say yes. i was too drunk to consent and far too drunk to take an active participating role. sadly, because of whatever reason, that didn't stop him. he didn't need to hear yes. when it happened, i was unaware of what actually happened. at the time, i was unaware that what he did was wrong. i was embarrassed and felt that i had actually been the one who had done something wrong.

now i know that not a single part of it was my fault. should i have been so drunk? no. should my level of stupor have mattered? hell no. should he have known better? hell yes. i hope and pray that he does now.


so, finally, we are approaching this as a collective issue. raising girls to become women who aren't afraid to say no is only half of the battle. the other half is raising boys who will become men who need to hear yes.




because one is far too many.

7 comments:

Naams said...

You're very brave, Christine, for putting that out there. This campaign is so important and if it helps just one woman (or girl, in many cases), that is a huge leap forward. Hopefully it helps many women, though. And men, too. And you're doing your part to help, too, which is awesome. Big hugs...

asplawn said...

Brave! Brave! Brave woman you are! Thank you for sharing! Thank you for standing tall! You have my support whole heartedly! From one woman to another, I couldn't agree more!

Teryn Borger said...

Love you mama. You're brave and fierce and I'm proud of you for voicing this! Mo is lucky to have a mother like you who will teach her to stand up for herself, meanwhile I'll be raising Finn to be a gentleman. <3

Jill Doggett said...

I love you Christine. This is huge. And I'm glad you started the conversation. Our children need to know what consent is and isn't. But we also need to talk about how we then treat the victims of these assaults. Too often girls are then attacked and bullied by their entire school for coming forward. Because she was a "slut" and "had it coming" and he is popular and so nice to everyone and just made a mistake.
These victims are being run out of town and sometimes even resort to suicide because of the bullying they then endure for having the courage to come forward and tell their story to hopefully prevent it happening to anyone else.

Ugh. it makes me sick with worry for Lucy and Mila.

Im so sorry this happened to you. Thank you for sharing though, and saying what needs to be said more. TEACH OUR SONS THAT THEY HAVE TO HAVE CONSENT!

tina bumblebee said...

Wow this is such a huge deal, an amazing huge deal. This post is beautiful and you're so brave for telling us your story. Thank you.

Jenny Whittaker said...

Thank you for being brave enough to speak out for yourself, other victims and the rest or us whose voice doesn't reach as many. Thank you!

Alicia said...

So Powerful! Thank you for sharing.

 

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