marlo update | just shy of two

marlo being marlo

my modini rotini,

this is the last monthly update before you turn two. how it's even possible that you are turning two is beyond me. i typically get seven shades of emotional when i write these letters to you because everything about being your mama and watching you become who you're meant to be is just the most emotional thing. but the truth is that my motherhood experience involves equal parts of sentiment and what the fuck? moments. and, because i want to paint a realistic picture of our life for you to reflect back on one day, here are ten of the latter:

1. you eat food straight from the freezer. mostly just bagels and corn, but, every once in a while you'll go for an artichoke heart. we can't get you to quit no matter how hard we try. it's the damnedest and weirdest thing but you really love frozen food. ps. who's the jackass that decided that freezers on the bottom of fridges were a good idea?

2. you have taken it upon yourself to be the poop police. while on poop watch, you go around to everyone- kids and adults because no one is above the law- and pull on their pants in the back to check for poo. you make every attempt to look down their crack and ask, "poo poo? poo poo?" i apologize a lot to random strangers whose bums you've attempted to interrogate.

3. you are obsessed with boobs. unlike the poop-check habit, you tend to be a little more reserved when it comes to boobs. other than a little incident we had with our friend, kristen, you seem to prefer mine and keep your hands down my shirt and not random strangers. oh. and about that incident? i blame it on utter fascination because mine definitely don't look like that anymore after what you did to them.

4. as i'm sitting at the table and writing this, you are sitting opposite me on our sofa. you are farting, laughing hysterically, and saying, "stinky! stinky, mama, stinky!"

5. you'd take green juice over a cookie any day of the week.

6. you say temperature and freckle almost perfectly. iPad sounds like baghdad. please, peeeeeeeze. apple is babpple, sometimes palpable.

7. you are the loudest, heaviest walker ever. when you run, it sounds like a stampede of large hoofed and horned mammals. your dad swears that you get this from me but i beg to differ. i need to buy our downstairs neighbors some wine.

8. nothing makes you laugh harder than when i sniff your feet and pretend that they stink. i'm not complaining because i'll take any opportunity that i can get to play with your delectable chubby feet because they are my most favorite things ever.

9. you give a really impressive stink-eye and just yesterday you rolled them for the first time at  kristen (yes, kristen of the boob incident. poor girl can't catch a break.) according to your father, my DNA is to blame for this as well.

10. at just twenty-three months, you can lead the way around our neighborhood to the wine store, the juice bar, the coffee shop, and the bakery. this most likely says more about me than it does you. a noteworthy WTF moment, nonetheless.