five things | that rile me up


1. football on sundays. here's some math for you: roughly ten hours on sunday, four hours on monday evening, and four on thursday evenings are spent watching football every week. that's eighteen hours. this means that millions and millions of people spend eighteen hours of their week glued to a television or computer while sitting on their ass watching a game that pays players millions of dollars to throw a leather ball around, yet, the men and women responsible for teaching our youth and the future of our country are barely making minimum wage. what if the same amount of people whom spend eighteen hours a week watching a fucking GAME, spent that same amount of time volunteering in their community at a school or at a children's hospital or at a homeless or women's shelter? shit might actually get done and this world might be a little bit better of a place.

2. copy-cats. i'm no genius and i doubt that anything i say on here hasn't been said before by someone else in their own way. however, i pride myself on having original content and when i take part in a series that someone else came up with, i always give credit where credit is due. if you decide to take part in a series that i regularly do, you should give credit where credit is due, too. and that's all i'm going to say about that.

3. one particular cab driver who, after making a stop at our first destination in fort greene, asked me for directions to get from fort greene to my apartment in DUMBO. when i told him that i didn't know how to get from where we were to DUMBO and tried to explain that i was new to brooklyn and didn't know my way around, hence me being in a cab, he jerked the cab to a stop. he then proceeded to scream that i was an "ignorant white american girl" and then kicked me out of the cab. at two am on a saturday night (it was girls night and i don't take the subway that late if i've been drinking) this fucktard kicked me out of the taxi in a not so great neighborhood by myself and drove off too quickly for me to get the number of the cab to call and report him. i was a mess. crying and kind of scared, just hoping a cab would come along quickly. luckily, one came after only ten minutes. as i sobbed in the back seat and relayed to him what just transpired, he was so kind and only reassured me that i was fine and that he wouldn't do that. he kept telling me that i didn't need to cry and that unfortunately, "not every man is a great man. real men would never treat a lady like that." he wouldn't charge me for my fare, either. i handed him a twenty, still crying, of course, and thanked him until he became uncomfortable.

4. i ran off to get a manicure today while joe was busy brainwashing marlo into believing that football is the best thing to ever exist. as the woman started working on my nails, she said, "you're getting waxed, too, no? your eyebrows not look good." i didn't like her. however, my eyebrows not look bad anymore.

5. you know those people- strangers, always- who pass you on the street or in the hallway and even though they know absolutely nothing about you, they'll say, "smile! it can't be that bad." don't you just want to hit those people in the face? i'm not unhappy, i just have a very normal resting bitch-face. in fact, asshole,  i'm on a large dose of anti-depressants so it's impossible for me to be unhappy. (i'm kidding, just a little mental illness humor for you.)

happy sunday, y'all.


Unknown said...

#1, 4 and 5...I'm totally with you!

eye candy said...

copycats are THE WORST!!! #rage

Anonymous said...

I ran across your blog on the 52 Project link up. I have to say I'm totally enjoying reading your rants and raves. Your cander is awesome. I'm totally agreeing with you on most of your comments, if I don't you're still pretty damn funny. Anyhow, that is all I have to say. Keep it up. :)

Christine said...

berlinbythebay, i'm so glad that you came across it! I just checked out your blog and it's beautiful! And I appreciate you appreciating my humor. It's not for everyone so I like people who like it. Cheers.


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