saturday morning


just like every other saturday morning when joe is home, i rolled my tired ass out of bed and attempted to get out of the house. i ventured around the corner (literally) to my favorite coffee shop, one girl cookies.

this was a horrible idea for a multitude of reasons:

for starters, i'm trying to lay off the caffeine to help with my anxiety. side note: withdrawal headaches are the worst. WORST. going to a coffee shop that cooks up your favorite soy latte is stupid.

secondly, when i roll out of bed, i mean it literally. i don't primp. i don't do anything to my hair. saturday morning laziness always calls for a hat. maybe i'll wash my face. maybe i won't. hopefully i'm not too groggy to remember to brush my teeth although joe usually reminds me when i go in for a good morning kiss. i put on whatever i was wearing the night before that's most likely strewn across the floor and i truck it to the coffee shop which i don't drink coffee at. so, when olivia palermo struts her chic little ass in for a iced black coffee with her model boyfriend on her arm- literally, he's a model and a total smoke show- and she looks the exact opposite of how i look... well, my saturday morning morale goes straight down the pooper. note to self: you are not a thirteen year old boy. so, wash your fucking face and a hair brush wouldn't kill ya', either. oh, wait. you don't own a hair brush. true story.

last but most definitely not least, being in a public bathroom when you discover that what you thought was simply a twenty-four hour stomach bug and ended yesterday is more like the stomach flu... well, that isn't embarrassing at all.

i hope your saturday- and weekend- was better than the crap shoot that mine was.

hash tag see what i did there?



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