it's saturday and still 91,000 degrees

how many times do you think that i can reference that youtube video? it never get's old so i'll just keep on doing it. boo yah.

the good news is that this time next week, i will be in los angeles, far away from this disgusting soupy heat wave, celebrating the impending marriage of my future sister-in-law, whom, might i add, is fabulous. i can't leak the deets of what plans are in store for us because she has no clue, but, i will say that it's going to be super fun. i even plan on wearing heels to every occasion possible and you better believe that there will be a ring of red lipstick on many a wine glasses.

here's my weekend in a nutshell...
1. i'm considering buying an authentic rain stick online and going out into the new york city streets naked and doing a rain dance. and, no, i'm absolutely not kidding. why naked, you ask? because it's too damn hot to wear clothes. this heat wave is just fucking ridiculous. and if i get one more text from my southern friends telling me how much rain they're getting down there, i... i.... actually i don't know what i'd do. but it's going to be bad for them.

2. before joe took marlo out for their ritual saturday morning adventure, i put her hair into a pony tail. you guys. A PONY TAIL. it's actually more like a pony nub but the cuteness alone could kill you.

3. every morning while i'm having my coffee, i indulge in my guilty pleasure of surfing the online gossip sites. this morning, i came across this and i almost spat my coffee out on my keyboard. can you believe she actually said that? what a ridiculous excuse for a human being. and i'm just going to go ahead and say that she is not smart. where is her publicist? what's even worse is that this woman has reproduced and is fractionally responsible for educating a part of the next generation. i can't even.

4. i'm making this for dinner tonight. and it got me thinking about something very serious... is there anything that copious amounts of cheese doesn't make better? yeah. i didn't think so.

5. last night, i went and got a manicure and pedicure at this new spa across the street and decided to splurge on a ten-minute chair massage. and let me just say that it changed my life. i basically paid and over-tipped that amazing woman to beat the shit out of me. and oh my god it was worth it. i may hae bruises on my back but i have also never slept as well as i did last night. thank you, yuyu. (her name is yuyu.)