this girl.
man, i tell you what. she is becoming quite the silly little side kick. i mean, if i had to pick one person to spend ALL of my time with, i'd pick her (sorry, joe.) which is a good thing because i actually do spend all of my time with her.
i don't really remember the first few months after she was born. i know that i was there and that my boobs kept her alive and i loved her an unfathomable amount, but, somewhere between the sleep deprivation, the postpartum depression, and just a general lack of knowing what the fuck i was doing, a lot of memories were lost. (if all moms remembered how hard the first few months are, we'd never have more children. truth, ladies and gentlemen.)
now that i'm in a far better emotional and mental place and i have much more confidence in my abilities as her mother, i try to soak up every single moment with her, even the not-so-great ones. like when she's sticking her tongue out at me and laughing uncontrollably because she thinks she's the funniest person she's ever met. or when she stops in the middle of whatever she's doing, runs over and barrels into me with the sweetest hug, both arms wrapped tightly around my neck. or when she's crabby and clingy and just wants to be held close and cry onto my chest. or even when she wants to lay on the floor and throw an impressive tantrum in public. all of those moments, albeit small and simple and quite frustrating, count for something in my mama mind. they're the memories that i never want to forget.
and as we're approaching the end of her 'baby' era and venturing into bigger 'toddler' territory, i'm starting to become very sentimental about the baby that she once was. her milky newborn smell, the way she curled into a little ball on my chest, and the way she stretched out her arms and scrunched her little pout after nursing are going to be things that i will always vividly remember and intensely miss.
luckily, though, i am absolutely crazy about the little lady that she's becoming. every mother says that every stage is better than the last and they aren't lying. every day i learn something new not only about her, but about myself and i think that's the beauty of motherhood. it's a constant learning process and it always keeps me guessing about our next step.
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