Motherhood

Marlo McLean, 8 weeks

Where do I begin?

For starters, I've managed to keep baby girl alive. Well, my boobs have. So, there's that. I'd call that a success. I've also managed to not jump over the balcony. Two points for Christine and her boobs. Technically, I have to give the credit for keeping me sane to Joe. He'll come home, sense that I need a little break and me time- not to mention, a shower- and take the babe while handing me a glass of wine. Extra credit points go to the guy with the high-top socks.

I've learned so much over the last two months. I've learned about my girl. I've learned about myself and the kind of mother that I want to be. I've learned about my husband and how strong our relationship is. Mostly, I've learned about motherhood and what it really means. Motherhood isn't about having your cute baby and making it all look so easy.

Shit ain't easy.

Motherhood lies in those little moments where you've tried everything in your arsenal to calm your baby who has been crying for hours for no reason, yet, you find the patience to hug her a little tighter and make yourself smile. Motherhood is being able to whisper through your own tears to that crying baby that it's going to be okay, even if it's just to make yourself believe it. Motherhood is when you choose to listen to your instincts over the other voices who ALL seem to have an opinion about what is best for YOUR baby. Motherhood is in that moment that you feel like a superhero because your FINALLY got your babe to sleep, even if just for twenty minutes. Motherhood is about accepting that there will be days that are meant for nothing but holding your baby girl close and just taking it all in. Sure, there's an imprint of your ass on the couch and you resemble one of our evolutionary ape ancestors instead of an actual human. But who cares? The laundry- and everything else- can simply wait.

Motherhood isn't easy. It's hard. Really hard. But it's proving to be exceptionally rewarding and beautiful. There are days where I feel like I'm doing everything wrong. Then there are also days that I've never felt more comfortable or more confident and I know that I'm doing a really good job. Those days are what make it all worth it.