five things | and it's hump day

this photo has nothing to do with anything.
it just captures marlo in all her scrunchy face glory.

1. forget the wahlbergs'. they're too busy being preoccupied by supermodels and whatever it is that jenny mccarthy does. i have officially moved on and have a new man crush.... edward-mother-fucking-burns. that man is fine. and tall. he's also married to a supermodel who just so happens to be named christy. and what would you know, my name is christy. coincidence? i think not.

2. i watched the notebook last night after drinking a glass (or three) of wine and here's what i walked away with: noah calhoun may be solely responsible for my obsession with men who have beards. (joe: take this as a hint. we all remember what happened when you grew your beard out while on vacation... and i'll just leave that at that since family is most likely reading this.) secondly, i want joe to take me canoeing. for the record, i've never been canoeing and have no idea why i want this. in all honesty, it seems like a lot of manual labor which i'm not exactly a fan of, but holy hell, it seems embarrassingly romantic. lastly, it should be illegal for rachel mcadams to be that damn pretty. homegirl is gorgeous.

3. in case anyone hasn't seen it, marlo really likes jay-z. also, it's probably that she got her dancing skills from her father. "drop it like it's hot, drop it like it's hot..." her other current faves are macklemore, robin thicke, and old crow medicine show. her taste is eclectic, what can i say?

4. speaking of music, my friend ashley demanded that i watch miley cyrus' new video 'we don't stop.' or is it 'we won't stop?' i. am. traumatized. she should absolutely stop. who wears white leotards? gross. she is now up there with justin bieber and chris brown. meaning, i have to suppress the urge to vomit in my mouth when i see her face or hear her voice. honestly, she had an uphill battle just being billy ray cyrus' daughter.

5. and now for something a little more serious that i'd like to bitch about: can you believe that rolling stone magazine put this guy on their cover? seriously? it's just foul. and tasteless. and cheap journalism. i'm all for sensationalism and i typically buy into it, but, i mean really, the fucker is a terrorist. or was brainwashed to be. whatever.  i honestly can't even get into it before i've finished my second cup of coffee.

6. and a bonus! i leave you this. my friend, april, just sent this to me and i was doing this really unattractive combination of silent laughing, snorting, and physically convulsing. watch it. you will not be disappointed.